3 secretos para desarrollar tu inteligencia emocional

3 secretos para desarrollar tu inteligencia emocional

desarrollar inteligencia emocional

¿Te pasó alguna vez de no poder manejar lo que estabas sintiendo? ¿o de sentirte sobrepasado por tus propias emociones? Entonces tal vez debas revisar cuestiones asociadas a tu inteligencia emocional.

Ya sea en un ambiente laboral o en una relación de pareja, es normal que de tanto en tanto las emociones intensas se apoderen de nuestros pensamientos y de nuestros cuerpos.

Gracias al trabajo de Daniel Goleman y de diferentes estudios, en los últimos treinta años se ha reivindicado la importancia de la inteligencia emocional. Sin embargo estos análisis no vienen acompañados de cambios efectivos en los ámbitos laborales, educativos y de salud.  No hay leyes que promulguen la educación emocional, ni consideraciones por parte de los organismos de salud para cuidar nuestras emociones y no enfermar.

Hoy quiero contarte 3 maneras en las que podés estar mejorando tu inteligencia emocional. Es importante destacar que a diferencia del coeficiente intelectual, la inteligencia emocional puede entrenarse y mejorar.


Etiquetar lo que estás sintiendo


El Labelling o etiquetado puede ser una manera realmente eficaz de disminuir o atenuar nuestra experiencia emocional según este estudio.

Al nacer y durante los primeros años de vida no tenemos incorporado el lenguaje. Nuestra experiencia con la realidad está regida por el hemisferio derecho del cerebro. No podemos clasificar, enunciar o razonar sobre las situaciones sino que sólo tenemos un abordaje total y puramente emocional con la experiencia.
A medida que vamos creciendo, durante los primeros años, vamos desarrollando la capacidad de nombrar, de asociar, clasificar y ordenar las experiencias. Podemos dar sentido y comenzar a razonar, aun incipientemente. Para hacerlo vamos desarrollando habilidades del hemisferio izquierdo.

hemisferios cerebrales

Esta integración entre hemisferio izquierdo y hemisferio derecho parece ser una muy buena manera de poder entender lo que nos sucede y cortar los circuitos de replicación. Es decir que, al darnos cuenta de lo que nos está pasando, podemos ocuparnos de ello o simplemente buscar recursos para atenuar.

Pero el simple hecho de nombrar la emoción permite una auto comprensión que alivia la tensión. A medida que crecemos la capacidad que tenemos de regular con nuestra corteza y con nuestro razonamiento lo producido por nuestro sistema emocional va siendo cada vez más importante. Sin embargo en primera instancia, nombrar o etiquetar parece ser el puntapié inicial para mejorar nuestra inteligencia emocional.


La respiración diafragmática


Existen numerosos estudios que hablan del beneficio de la meditación, del yoga y de muchas otras disciplinas orientales. La mayoría de estas prácticas tienen como común denominador el uso de la respiración. La respiración parece ser un elemento central para el trabajo interno.

Pero ¿por qué la respiración tiene un papel tan importante?

Según este estudio (entre muchos otros) la respiración tiene una implicación importante en la regulación del sistema autónomo. Al respirar de manera pausada, profunda y sobretodo diafragmática le damos tonicidad al nervio vago.

El nervio vago es un nervio craneal que inerva bronquios, esófago, estómago, páncreas, hígado y el corazón. Controla parcialmente la inervación parasimpática del corazón.
Es decir que es una especie de “freno”, disminuye la frecuencia cardíaca al activarse. Por lo tanto es una excelente manera de disminuir los estados alterados de consciencia o la irrupción emocional del miedo o la ira.

El miedo y la ira suelen estimular la producción de adrenalina, noradrenalina y de cortisol. Estos neurotransmisores aumentan la frecuencia cardíaca, modifican el ritmo respiratorio y preparan el cuerpo para la lucha o la huída. Cuando uno está viviendo emociones fuertes como ira o miedo, puede, literalmente, ver el escenario de su vida de una manera caótica y muy distorsionada.

La activación parasimpática a partir de la respiración y la estimulación del nervio vago puede ser una excelente manera de regular ese cambio fisiológico y poder analizar de una manera más consciente y menos reactiva lo que está sucediendo en el momento.

Es por eso que en muchos cuentos la forma predilecta de tranquilizar a una persona es “respirar profundo”. Pero para ello es preciso que la persona lo entrene y le dé tonicidad a ese nervio.


La empatía también mejora la inteligencia emocional


La inteligencia emocional tiene su máxima expresión en el momento en que interactuamos con un tercero. Tanto el etiquetado de la emoción como el desarrollo de la tonificación del nervio vago son herramientas útiles para los momentos difíciles que a veces tenemos que transitar con nuestra pareja, nuestros padres, nuestros hijos o en el ámbito laboral.

En este sentido, la posibilidad de mirarnos y darnos cuenta de nuestras emociones, de cómo nos sentimos y de qué necesitamos puede ser la puerta para empezar a entender cómo se sienten los demás.

Es a partir de abrirme a la experiencia emocional, dándole lugar y no rechazándola que puedo empezar a abrirme a la posibilidad de que el otro también esté sintiendo algo.

Cuando puedo reconocer en el otro lo que está sintiendo, y cómo lo está sintiendo
Conectar con el otro puede reflejar un cambio muy profundo en mi calidad de vida. Entender lo que la otra persona está transitando, poder acompañarlo o simplemente darle contención puede mejorar y mucho nuestra capacidad de vincularnos.

Sin duda una de los condimentos que hacen que una persona tenga mejor calidad de vida, o niveles más altos de felicidad tiene que ver con la calidad de sus vínculos. Y la calidad de sus vínculos va a tener que ver con la capacidad de conexión que tenga esa persona. Esta capacidad la podemos identificar como empatía. La capacidad de ponernos en el lugar del otro y entender cómo se está sintiendo.

Se puede practicar. Para ello, primero tengo que abrirme a lo que estoy sintiendo yo en cada momento. Poder conocer mis emociones y lo que producen en mi cuerpo y en mi mente. Después abrirme a la información que la otra persona me está brindando, ya sea que me lo esté contando o que lo pueda ver en su expresión corporal.

Es importante no juzgar como negativo nada de lo que esté sucediendo sino simplemente darle lugar a lo que esa persona está viviendo.

Cuando logramos hacer esto con nuestro hijo o con nuestra pareja la relación vive un upgrade fundamental. Creo que estas son herramientas practicables, que cada uno puede llevar a su día a día.


Te invito…


Si creés que te pueden servir, entonces tal vez a otra persona también le pueda servir, por eso te invito a compartírselo a alguien que vos quieras, o en tus redes.
También contarte que en mi blog, en mi canal de youtube podés encontrar más información sobre inteligencia emocional o incluso cursos como el “transitando las emociones” donde basándonos en el mindfulness y otras herramientas hacemos un recorrido sobre cada una y sobre diferentes maneras de vincularnos con ellas.

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